Respects you from a distance.

Framing My Eggs

I see a lot of innovative cooking these days. Delicious, gourmet meals displayed through a fuzz filter in hopes that the trashy erotic magnet souvenir on the icebox in the background will go unnoticed. Everybody is cooking. Hell, I’m cooking. Cooking up a storm. But it worries me that in this day of immediately gratifying Google searches, creativity will go the way of the cookbooks I so excitingly accept, but rarely venture through.

Easter ending left me with a surplus of eggs. Being the waste not, want not individual that I am I started thinking of ways to use them before expiration. I am proud to share with the eight or nine people who read this blog my new idea for eggs in a frame.

It starts off with a thicker slice of toast. I used a white bread that I’d made earlier in the week.

From there, I put not one, but three eggs inside. I let them sit for a moment and then break up the yolks to distribute the heat.

The toast’s thickness makes the flip a real trick. This one came out clean. Others have not been so lucky. The best advice I can give would be to make sure the toast is cut flat on both sides, and thoroughly pressed down on the pan so nothing seeps out. Furthermore, let the eggs cook for a good while before flipping.

Once the other side is cooked to the eater’s liking, add stuff. Cheese is a good option. As is avocado and tomato.

 

While I’m still on the topic of Easter Eggs, I have to mention another clever idea I’ve put into action. 

Before Adrienne departed to Australia for 4 months, I bought her a stash of Cadbury Creme Eggs for our one-year anniversary. Being a responsible adult, she ate two eggs over the next couple days and then caught her flight, leaving 6 eggs with me under the impression that they would be safely awaiting her return. I held strong for several days before giving into temptation and eating all of them.

Luckily, it was still Easter season at retailers so replacing them wasn’t a big deal.

Until the next week when I had eaten all of the replaced ones. So I was through ~12 eggs and beginning to worry about how I was going to preserve ten for three more months after Easter passes and I cannot replace them.

So for round three I bought 14 eggs and froze them.

That didn’t work. Cadbury Eggs are still edible when frozen.

Then it dawned on me.

Relationship saved!

Forgive my recent lack of impertinence.

I try to save my tumblr for truly original pieces. That being said, everything thus far on this particular blog has been written for the sole purpose of letting [the few people who care to read] inside of my thought process, opinions and so forth. My writing (on here and in general) has pretty much ceased since my final semester of college for no reason that I can sufficiently offer. I currently have two possibilities as to why I have been so unproductive.

The first one should be expected. I was forced to grow up, and in the hustle of doing so, I’ve not allowed time for novel writing. Well, not novel writing as in books, but novel writing as in mustache combs and tiny umbrellas for drinks. I wish I had something to offer for my months of absence, like a fancy job I wrangled with an undergrad degree, unusually high GRE scores that opened the door to grad schools, or a closet-constructed time machine. I don’t have any of those things. I have very little tangible evidence to support the claim that I’ve spent the last few months growing up, so let’s move on.

Perhaps I’ve ran out of interesting things to say. Or maybe interesting things have stopped happening to me. Is this what it means to grow up? Perhaps interesting things do still happen to me, but as a grown up, I keep these things out of the public eye. Who knows?

This, of course, is all banter that leads me to asking you guys for a favor. Give me shit to write about. Subjects, stories that (those of you that know me have heard) would like to read about, things that you’d like to get my opinion on. ANYTHING. I think there is an anonymous box on my page—submit something and I promise I will look in to it. 

Onward with things. I have done quite a bit of food construction in the past six months with the added partnership of a special lady. Here’s a breakdown:

These are donuts and donut holes.

Cinnamon rolls.

French Toast Monte Cristos.

Crepes and biscuits.

Crepes: attempt 2.

Butterbeer cupcakes.

Venison burger—homemade rolls.

Stuffed crust venison pizza.

Cold brewed coffee—first batch of many.

Green eggs, purple banana pancakes, and ham.

Butterbeer cupcakes: attempt 2.

Nutella waffles.

Gluten free rolls.

Venison pizza: attempt 2.

Gyro pizza.

Meat pies.

Pigs in a blanket/green banana pancakes.

Potstickers.

Bacon wrapped hot dogs. Yay, Pepto-Bismol!

Lasagna (homemade noodles).

Calzones.

And as a final ending, my biggest contribution to society thus far:

Halloween Cap’n Crunch cereal shots!

I plan on doing more cooking in the following months now that holiday edition milk is on the shelves.

Until next time.